Joey (Host): It affects many people. So we're discussing battling holiday depression. Our guest is Elizabeth McGarry. She's a licensed clinical social worker And also mental health program coordinator for Kirby Medical Center. This is the Kirby Connections Health Podcast where we help you nourish your wellness journey with Kirby Medical Center. Thanks so much for joining us.

I am Joey Wahler. Hi there, Elizabeth. Welcome.

Elizabeth McGarry, LCSW: Thank you. Hi, how are you?

Joey (Host): Great yourself. Excellent. We appreciate the time. So This is an important topic because as mentioned, it does affect so many people. First, what are some of the causes of depression during holiday time? Why then?

Elizabeth McGarry, LCSW: Healthy depression is caused by a multitude of reasons. some of the reasons are the things that you would expect. General stress, people have more obligations. there's more things that they have to do outside of their normal life routine. financial stress is often a thing. people don't have the resources to get the things that they need.

outside expectations are often a big deal. Family expectations, society expectations, and sometimes this becomes extremely overwhelming to people. So, it creates anxiety And then they can't meet that expectation, so then they start to feel down about the holidays and themselves. there's also the factor that a lot of times during the holidays, it brings up past memories.

Of people who have lost someone, whether it's a spouse or child or other family member. And so they start to reminisce over things from the past, which brings in a lot of emotions, often a lot of grief and sadness associated with that. the family gatherings can be a big thing for people as well, where oftentimes family dynamics, aren't always pleasant for people.

So getting together, we expect them to be good times, but oftentimes it creates a lot of stressors. So people have to navigate between, do I do this, do I not do this? And then oftentimes, being able to, be around people, you know, so people are feeling lonely. They don't have that external support system to go to.

They don't have friends to be around. And so again, that expectation that holidays are joyful and happy and these people don't have anyone to celebrate that with. So end up feeling lonely and, not being able to get the things that they really want for themselves.

Joey (Host): So obviously you've covered a lot of ground there. Let's dive into some of those in a little more detail. First I want to ask you about. The weather change around holiday time in many parts of the country because in fall And then more so in winter, that can contribute to depression.

Right? Because in a sense it makes people have to, have less control of certain activities and plans in their life than when the weather is more pleasant. Yes.

Elizabeth McGarry, LCSW: Absolutely. Absolutely. That's a huge factor. sometimes we call that, seasonal depression. And a lot of times if someone experiences depression That is mild, or moderate during this time of the year, not just the holidays, but the weather, not being able to get out and be active, not being able to.

Go do things with their families. oftentimes elderly people, they can get around better. When it's warmer out, they feel safe not to fall or, you know, be in inclement weather. And when things change, then they're more stuck inside and more isolated, which leads to feelings of depression. also a lot of times the weather itself, we have less daylight.

the sun isn't shining as much. so these factors affect us. Physiologically. And so that in turn creates a sense of depression as well. So, It isn't always just the external as far as like what we get to do or what we don't get to do, but you less daylight, less fresh air, less sunlight.

All of those things can affect us as well.

Joey (Host): Absolutely. Now you mentioned family or loved ones, friends. The social aspect of this, when we talk about seeing people around holiday time and some of the anxiousness, some of the past memories that that can conjure up, what's your advice to those in trying to handle that? Because it can be a lot for people, right?

Elizabeth McGarry, LCSW: Sure it absolutely can be. I think one of the most important things is to really check in with how you're feeling. suggest that people do what we call an emotional check-in. They kind of slow themselves down, ask themselves, what am I feeling right now? and whatever that emotion might be, telling yourself, that it's okay to feel whatever it is that you're feeling And then following up with an affirmation of whatever's fitting for you.

Like, I'm gonna be okay, or I'm gonna get through this. Sometimes when we are pushing our emotions away, when they don't feel good, or when we're worried about something or we're anticipating something, being, not pleasant or having an interaction that isn't good. Our thoughts create a sense of that anxiety and stress inside of us.

So if we can identify what it is that we're feeling, oftentimes that in and of itself helps us to calm down, right? It's often the resistance that creates the suffering for us. So. really being able to check in with yourself and, oftentimes we need to ask for help, right?

And so it's okay to reach out to a friend and talk to them, tell them how you're feeling. Often we'll find that that friend is feeling the same way, right? And so we feel less alone. we feel less as though other people don't understand us. And then of course, if you have a therapist, to reach out and be sure that you're going to those appointments.

And if you don't have someone to talk to, there's multiple ways, platforms, resources to be able to find someone to talk to during the holidays. And that therapist can often give support and give coping skills that you might not be aware of.

Joey (Host): Right now, where would you say the line is, Elizabeth, in terms of. When it's time to seek help, let's say you're not in treatment. Let's say you really don't have anyone you can confide in, but you're thinking maybe the time has come, when do you know that that time has arrived?

Elizabeth McGarry, LCSW: If you're feeling an imminent sense of sadness, you don't feel as though you're engaging in your normal daytime activities or your normal holiday routines. You find yourself isolating, not feeling motivated to, go to work, spend time with your kids, get out and do the things that you need to do to sustain, what your daily living is, whether it's the holidays or not the holidays.

if you're not able to do these things, that's a good time to reach out because like I mentioned prior, coping skills is a huge piece of managing depression and anxiety, and sometimes that's all people need, right? The other thing is sometimes all people need is a little bit of support to tell them, you know, it's okay.

What you're feeling is normal and you're gonna get through this. the other thing would be is if someone is starting to feel, which is another step. Like down would be if they're having thoughts of hurting themselves, not wanting to be alive, feeling as if things aren't purposeful anymore or there's no point, then definitely you want to call 9 8 8, which is a national hotline for suicide intervention.

they don't just provide support if someone is feeling suicidal. They also provide support just to those that are having, feelings that they're not understanding or needing, immediate support with. so definitely not to wait if you're feeling that way. but if it's just like you're feeling really down and you can't pull yourself out of that slump and you don't know what to do, that would be the time to reach out for someone to give you some support.

Joey (Host): Gotcha. How about. Someone trying to help another, a friend, a family member, a loved one that may be struggling with depression during the holidays, how can we reach out, recognize when someone may be vulnerable during that time?

Elizabeth McGarry, LCSW: Absolutely. checking in with that person regularly, you if you sense by their behavior or the things they're stating or. Um, the things they have told you about how they're feeling, checking in with them on a regular basis, so that they know that they do have support. A lot of times people need listening, so offering sympathy, not necessarily trying to change how they feel.

Or to tell them, oh, it's gonna be okay, just go do it. Because some people can't do that when they're feeling depressed. It's not a matter of just, oh, okay, I'll get up and do it. If they could do that, they would've done that. Right? So sometimes they just need a lot of, listening and sympathy And the reassurance that, it's gonna be okay, you're gonna get through this.

And then also, of course, as we just discussed, if you notice symptoms of this person, You know, declining or. Voicing that there's no point. I don't wanna be alive, I don't wanna do this. Then definitely recommending that they call 9 8 8, go to their local emergency room or reach out to a therapist immediately.

Joey (Host): All right. A few other things for you. First. You touched on it earlier, holiday time can put stress on people. Simply put, because of money sometimes maybe you don't have the resources to buy the presence you'd like to for those close to you. Right. in a completely different vein.

Well, related but unrelated, but related as they say. Also. It's a big time for a lot of people to lose their jobs, and of course there's no good time for that to happen, but holiday time is about the worst time. How do we put our financial concerns aside, which is a real practical issue, and still enjoy the holiday and not let it ruin things for us?

Elizabeth McGarry, LCSW: I think it's really trying to have realistic expectations for what is going on in your life. Earlier I referenced like trying to accept how you feel. It's the same kind of thing. obviously it's very difficult, right? If you're going through some financial stressors or if you have just lost employment, that you have to recognize that maybe I don't have the resources to give to my family or give to my children.

And although that's very hard to swallow and very hard to accept, The reassurance, like it's not always going to be this way. things can improve. I can get through this. but also, asking for help, There's a lot of resources out there. I know that sometimes it's difficult for people to accept that they might need help during the holidays, whether that's a local food bank for a holiday meal, whether that's our local, charity organizations that provide gifts for children and elderly people.

but not just sitting back and feeling like, okay, I can't do what I usually do this year, And that be it, but kind of look for other options, It's hard for people when they feel all that pressure from society, but it's important to sometimes put aside, okay, everything happens for a reason, and maybe this year I need to focus on finding joy with my family.

maybe I can learn a lesson about gratitude. I had all these things before. I'm not able to do that this year. But, I appreciate the fact that, maybe things were better in the past and knowing that they can be good again in the future. So, trying to look at, the holidays is just not about gift giving, it's about connecting with people.

It's about, providing love and, safety for your family members, your children or your parents. and it's about, kind of getting back to the basics. I think. Society and our, social media has created a lot of expectations. and sometimes we lose our way, right? And we think that a gift is all that we need, but sometimes you'll find that the biggest gift is just being able to be present and let your loved ones know how much you care and Love them.

Joey (Host): Yes, that's for sure. And finally, here, to kind of sum up, Elizabeth, what's job one? For someone that's having sad, depressed, anxious feelings at holiday time, what's job one? You've covered a lot of ground, but especially for someone that's not maybe accustomed to reaching out for help, simply put, who can you reach out to first?

Elizabeth McGarry, LCSW: My first recommendation would be that. If you are someone who has any kind of support system, whether that be a family member or a good friend, that you reach out to them and let them know how you're feeling. like I said earlier, everyone feels a sense of stress during the holidays, right?

And so sometimes just knowing that other people are experiencing some kind of stress as well. Not to focus on the negative, but to focus on, okay, we can do this together. sometimes just knowing that you have someone that you can go to, whether it's to vent to or receive support from.

so I would say definitely starting with family and friends. and if it gets a little bit deeper than that, always knowing that, again. That 9, 8, 8 number that I mentioned. they do provide just support and resources that are in your local community for you if things should get more difficult.

so just sometimes knowing that we have a resource And we know where to go to can help alleviate some of those stressors in and of itself.

Joey (Host): Absolutely great advice indeed, and a very important topic. As we said, folks, we trust you're now more familiar with trying to battle that holiday depression. It affects so many of us in one form or another. Elizabeth, keep up all your great work and thanks so much again. Happy New Year.

Elizabeth McGarry, LCSW: Thank you. Happy New Year to you too.

Joey (Host): Thanks so much And for more information, please do visit Kirby health.org/services/mental Behavioral Health. Now, if you found this podcast helpful, please do share it on your social media. I'm Joey Wahler, and thanks so much again for being part of the Kirby Connections Health Podcast.