Intro: Welcome to Conversations on Cancer, brought to you by the Riverside Cancer Institute, providing answers, debunking myths, and sharing patient stories.

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): Hi, This is Dr. Austin Bacha. Welcome back to our podcast, the C Word Community, not Cancer. today we actually have two guests with us today, Mr. And Mrs. O'Farrell. Ms. O'Farrell has been gracious enough to talk about her cancer journey, which actually involves multiple stops, and we'll talk her way through that.

And, Ms. O'Farrell is. Her major support. And so he's agreed to be part of the podcast as well. and he's got his own story as well. So, welcome to both of you.

Michael O'Farrell: Well, Thank you

Kim O'Farrell: very much, doctor. That

Michael O'Farrell: us to be here.

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): so Ms. O'Farrell is currently being cared for actually both are being cared for by my partner Dr. Lasher. and Ms. O'Farrell is currently under treatment, I believe on maintenance right now for lung cancer. Correct. But This is not your first journey with cancer?

Kim O'Farrell: No, sir. It's not. It's not. I, I started younger with cancer and bladder cancer in 1997. Mm-hmm. that was very difficult. the first-time you hear that word, it's, startling. and it makes you think of your own mortality and it brings you down a little bit, and you gotta find that way to get up.

Mm-hmm. Because, Mm-hmm. If you're not in a positive place, I don't believe you can handle this journey. It's a, a very tough, tough thing. And, cancer is a very lonely thing and you don't wanna be lonely through it. Yeah. You just don't. Yeah. And I'm very lucky to have my husband with me.

Yeah. And he is struggling with cancer also. So, you know, we both find support in each other and, and it's been easier to handle, I have to say.

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): So pretty briefly, You had the bladder cancer back then. and about how long did that quote unquote journey slash experience last?

Kim O'Farrell: That journey was short lived during, they were able to cut out all the cancer and remove it, which was wonderful. Mm-hmm. And, unfortunately I did not follow-up with my regular checkups like they tell you to. Okay. And, that's when my other colon.

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): So the next cancer that I saw that you had was endometrial cancer, correct? Or correct? Okay. how long after that bladder cancer did that show up? Um,

Kim O'Farrell: that was uh, probably seven years.

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): years so almost seven years you thought you're done with everything. All done. Stop stoping our doctors and all that. And, and I thought

Kim O'Farrell: then I thought I had, um, I thought I had a bleeding ulcer 'cause I was vomiting blood and I wasn't feeling good. And one night, Mike and I weren't married at that time, and he took me to the hospital and they kept me and they did an ultrasound and they found the bladder cancer.

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): The endometrial cancer, right? Correct. Yeah. Okay. So, it doubled the endometrial cancer with surgery again. correct? Surgery again, Did you have to do anything afterwards like

Kim O'Farrell: chemotherapy Well, um, I wasn't responding very well. They also took my bladder. They took a few things I was put in a nursing home for while So, It was your gallbladder? My gallbladder, that's right. Yeah. And then they put me in a nursing home for some time. Mm-hmm. So that was a difficult

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): different thing. Yeah,

Kim O'Farrell: yeah, yeah, it

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): was.

Kim O'Farrell: Yeah.

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): And then,

Kim O'Farrell: And then bam. Here I am. Yeah. Back with cancer again.

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): So when you get hit with aag, like how many years in between

Kim O'Farrell: that? now? That was, um, 2014. Okay. And so here we are.

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): So, And then this cancer,

Kim O'Farrell: you it is 24.

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): Um, yeah. So 10 years

Kim O'Farrell: And so. And my sister was with me at the time, and my husband, And we came to see Dr. Lasher and I walked in the room and outside her room is this little C and it says, C is for cure. And I kind of jokingly said to my sister, see, I may not have cancer.

Mm-hmm. You know, C is for cure too. Yeah. And, uh, we found out it was cancer. Yeah. my sister stayed and took care of me for. two months. Mm-hmm. And then she went home and she got the diagnosis that she also had the same type of cancer as myself.

I didn't know that. And she passed three weeks later. Um, it was very difficult to, um, had my sister so close to me And then have.

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): You know, Yeah, yeah. I'm so really

Kim O'Farrell: yeah, yeah. sorry. I didn't know about that. And, and to have the same cancer as me, that made me a little alarmed, You know? But she did have a, um, tumor. And it got into her lung. Okay. And then they just, that was it. They couldn't do anymore for her.

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): Well, again, I'm sorry to hear

Kim O'Farrell: about your sister.

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): know about

Kim O'Farrell: you. Thank you. It was a

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): tough loss, Yeah.

Kim O'Farrell: God works in mysterious ways.

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): Yeah. So it's hard to do it. I know. to not think about her, But when you got the word that you had c word, the cancer. course we use C word community, and Dr. Lasher had c word cure. But when you're given that diagnosis again, 10 years later again, right, with cancer.

I, I,

Kim O'Farrell: what what was I felt discouraged I, I felt like, you know, I've been trying, to watch out for things, but I got busy with life and I didn't do any follow-up, and that's what I want the listeners to do. Mm-hmm. Go follow-up, do your scans and get everything so you don't get a surprise like that.

It's not a surprise

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): you want. Yeah, yeah.

Kim O'Farrell: Yeah. but I'm ready for the fight. I mean, I, I'm not giving up, believe me

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): Yeah. Right now,

Kim O'Farrell: from what I see, you don't have,

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): Right. So, uh, Dr. Lasher is doing a wonderful job taking

Kim O'Farrell: yes. Yeah. She is a godsend. Um, And so

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): again, thinking c word as a cure. Okay. how were you first reassured about. This cancer come back, And then how are you gonna deal with it and how Dr. Lasher kind of communicated that with you? Well,

Kim O'Farrell: Well, Dr. Lasher has this kind of calming way. Mm-hmm. And I have to say, even when I felt at my worst, and I'd go in and just talk with her. Mm-hmm. I had a better attitude walking out like, I can do this. You know? Mm-hmm. This is,

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): This is

Kim O'Farrell: doable. Yeah. And, she's built my confidence quite a bit. Okay. I'm pretty sure that I'm on the pole to recovery. I don't know if it's, there is a total recovery, but I'm right there.

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): Yeah. Uh, and again, you have your husband here

Kim O'Farrell: for support. Yes. And

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): Yes. Yeah. And he's been the God.

Kim O'Farrell: and it was crazy. two years I was diagnosed And then to find out he had cancer I was in shock. I couldn't believe Lightning doesn't strike twice. It just doesn't. And then when I found out he had cancer, that took me back a little bit. Sure. But he's doing well and he's got the right attitude and he got it from me.

Sure.

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): Let me turn to you real quickly, Ms. I'm not gonna talk about your, your cancer right now. Sure. and obviously she'd been through this journey multiple times with cancer each time and each time it hits her hard. How does it hit you?

Michael O'Farrell: Well, I'm honestly, I'm hit hard also, but I always say it's not that bad and always try to stay positive. Mm-hmm. And I go, you start getting down on yourself, then it's just gonna make things worse. Mm-hmm. So we'll stay positive, we'll go through the treatments and see what happens.

Mm-hmm. But if you're just, giving up now, then why even do anything? Got it. So we have to have the good attitude. Up And then every day I make sure that we got a good attitude going. Okay. We'd get, get out of bed and make sure we got our medications taken And we'd get our food and mm-hmm.

Back then I was going to work every day. Mm-hmm. so I'd have to make sure she's, getting up and getting everything ready to go. luckily I only work a couple minutes away so I can come home at lunch or I'm on the phone texting all day or talking to her.

So. that way was, uh, just stay positive mm-hmm. Through all the cancers.

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): Yeah. And again, speaking as a a caregiver to her, as you were taking care of her before you got your own diagnosis and all that. Mm-hmm. Uh, what support did you have?

Michael O'Farrell: well I had her family, her sister. Mm-hmm. Uh, her daughter. Hmm. my family's always. calling my dad and my sisters while we calling it checkup around Kim. especially with this lung cancer diagnosis. Before we were

Kim O'Farrell: kind of on our own

Michael O'Farrell: little bit. Yeah. We didn't tell people. And then now with, this, we all kind of came together. Mm-hmm. And it goes, this was. not that. I wanna say the other ones were minor. 'cause there's, nothing minor when it comes to cancer or anything that with your health. And like Kim said, get your scans and follow-up.

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): in some ways, sometimes when we have surgeries to do Yeah. It feels like there is something definite and quote unquote easier, I guess. so I can un understand what you're saying, I think. whereas This is more open-ended So, you sounds like you've included a bigger community of family around you.

I have. I have. Yeah.

Kim O'Farrell: I just found out, which I would've never known. My neighbor is a nurse and she said if there's anything I can do for you And then another neighbor, you know. When you keep it quiet and to yourself, it's not helping you any. Mm-hmm. You need to let people know and, grab your strength wherever you can get it.

Yeah. 'cause cancer is, it's a killer and I just, You know, I refuse to let it take me not like this. No way. I'm a fighter.

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): What else brings you comfort right now? Like what strategies do you have? Um, to

Kim O'Farrell: yourself when you get home from treatment, I have

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): this

Kim O'Farrell: dog who is,

Michael O'Farrell: who's actually,

Kim O'Farrell: he is just my, biggest support. He's just lays on the couch next to me and he knows I'm sick and he knows when I'm sick and he doesn't bother me. And he's just wonderful. And when Mike's not around, a dog's a thing to have. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I've gotten a lot of support with family and mm-hmm.

we kept it. Most of the cancers to myself. Yeah. But this one we knew we couldn't, you know, stage four is one you got to share.

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): So sometimes Im use the word stage four. Obviously that becomes more scary. for people listening in. on the podcast, we generally have four stages of cancer, one being quote unquote, the earliest and smallest, And then a little bit more each time. Stage four generally means, for the listener, that cancer is spread from wherever it first started, in this case, the lung, to other organs.

and that's what stage four means to us at medical professional, that It just went from one place to another. the trick is. That in many cases, unlike the previous cancer where it was the earlier stage and you can just cut it out and things like

Kim O'Farrell: that, you have to

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): be remain on treatment. so it's a much more continuous, kind of long-term prospect of taking care of someone

Kim O'Farrell: or being taken

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): care of. Right. Right. Mm-hmm. how did that concept affect you? knowing that you're gonna be here for a good long time with us?

Kim O'Farrell: Well, it helps that you're also so kind And in caring. in my opinion, this was the best place we found when I found cancer because I found support, I found love. I found just Spiritual being here. Mm-hmm. it's opened up my life differently and I appreciate all these people that have helped me and, made my day better.

And I'm willing to hang

Michael O'Farrell: them most

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): most of the time.

Kim O'Farrell: Very good. We expect you to be around with Yeah. For, I'm

Michael O'Farrell: For A long time,

Kim O'Farrell: long time,

Michael O'Farrell: Kimberly.

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): Yeah. A long time. Yeah. I guess now that you both are in this journey together yes. Together. We're, what do you gotta do together? dealing with the cancer and as together instead of you just taking care of her,

Kim O'Farrell: Well, we take we take now you have somebody taking care

Michael O'Farrell: you. Well, we, it, it seems

Kim O'Farrell: to go in

Michael O'Farrell: cycles, Where? She'll be down and not feeling good. And I'm feeling, okay. And then I take care of her. Mm-hmm. And then now I'm going through my chemo. Mm-hmm. so,

Kim O'Farrell: um, the next couple days, in a couple

Michael O'Farrell: days I'll be feeling pretty

Kim O'Farrell: crummy and she'll be up again and she'll be taking care of him

Michael O'Farrell: I'll be taking care of it. So, it kind of

Kim O'Farrell: goes, it kind of goes back and forth.

Michael O'Farrell: Yeah. And then

Kim O'Farrell: we have our dog. Of course that takes care of both of

Michael O'Farrell: of us, right? But

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): of you?

Kim O'Farrell: Yes. Yeah.

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): What's the experience for you, Mrs. O? O'Farrell, and now I guess not being the cared for, but caring for person. how does that hit You being different

Kim O'Farrell: I've always said I, I couldn't go on without Michael. So, it was a hard hit. it emotionally took me through a rollercoaster for a while. but after a couple weeks, you know, you, you get. grounded and you look at what you gotta do and, and you just move forward.

And I am more than happy. To help my husband through this journey.

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): You've been in the role of being cared for for so long. Yes. Is there any. strength or energy that comes about? from Oh. being Caring for somebody else.

Kim O'Farrell: I, I think really there is, I mean, sometimes when I'm not feeling the best and he's really down, I pick myself up because I know This is what he needs and he's been there for me so much. I've gotta be there for him. And I think, we're a good team.

Yeah. I really do. I see that. It's,

Michael O'Farrell: it's all about team for us anyway. It is, you know? Yeah. It's all about team and it, it was before, before I was diagnosed with any cancer, it was all about team before. and it was, and it was priority number one was always Kim and, getting her cancer. the original diagnosis was for me here, and it was pretty grim.

Hmm. you know, the cancer spread to her bone. And then I'm like, oh, in her bone And the lung and oh, This is horrible. Which of course it was. And then, um.

Kim O'Farrell: where did we go from there? We went to Dr. Lasher

Michael O'Farrell: Yeah. yeah. Yes. And then, then I got diagnosed and they said. Oh, we're here called an oncologist for you, Do you

Kim O'Farrell: know, Dr. Lasher. I go, oh, thank goodness.

Michael O'Farrell: I know you know her. She goes, we just, I, I just saw him on Friday. Yeah, she goes, He looked fine then. Yeah. But we're doing good And we have each other and, the support of, like you said, of both of our families. Mm-hmm. Even our brother that we would talk to every once in a while and see him, but now he's stopping on his way from Michigan going to Florida.

He starts by our house to see how we're doing. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And he is done that a couple times, And that means, it means a lot to me, but it means the world to Kim. Hmm. it's weird how as we get older and, this cancers happened to us how we've all kind of come together and, life is short and whatever else is going on doesn't really matter that much And let's all come together and support our family, our loved ones

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): any other words of advice from either of you about how to deal with the diagnosis, how to deal with the journey, how to deal with your community.

Kim O'Farrell: I turned to the Lord first. Mm-hmm. he was the first one I talked with and it was a difficult talk. Mm-hmm. Because I had to yell at myself a little bit too. This is your fault. You didn't get your scannings, you didn't mm-hmm. You gotta get scanned. It's so important.

I went through this with the support of my sister and my husband and my daughter, and I've been blessed. And now that the rest of our family have been brought into this, it's actually kind of eased my mind in. I've been a little more calm and it's helped. It's helped quite a bit.

Nothing like reaching out to the family and them reaching back,

Michael O'Farrell: once you get diagnosed, you get this bad news and it's horrible. you have to stay positive right off the bat. Stay positive. It's not the end of the world. Think about how we're gonna solve this problem instead of giving up on everything. And while you're going through it, it's not gonna be easy.

And just remember to keep your eye on the prize. I guess it is. It's like just. Go with your treatments, do what the doctors say and do your follow-up and get your scans and do everything they say you're supposed to do. And mm-hmm. everything's gonna work out fine.

Kim O'Farrell: Yeah. I don't get these people that don't listen to you guys. 'cause I think you guys are just the world. All you oncologists, you work so hard to help

Michael O'Farrell: us and and all the support we get here at the cancer place, everybody is so. nice all the time. and, and I know, you know, when sick people when and, their diagnosis are probably aren't

Kim O'Farrell: the best and,

Michael O'Farrell: but

Kim O'Farrell: everybody's just, just so nice all the time. Every time you come in here, it's the smiling faces And the upbeat attitude. And it always puts you from, from the,

Michael O'Farrell: the people at the, front desk to

Kim O'Farrell: in, all the

Michael O'Farrell: nurses, nurses, to all the

Kim O'Farrell: doctors, Denise and

Michael O'Farrell: our new friend Taylor. Everybody is, so nice. And, that's a big part of the support. it is not just your family, but you go to someplace that you trust. And now, when I got diagnosed, Kim was already been here for a year. so I know we knew all the treatment, we knew all the people here and, so we kind of knew what we were in for, So we're both doing good.

And it's all about attitude And the support of your family. You know, just a simple phone call. from someone you haven't talked to in a while or, whatever. Just it means the world. It's a five minute phone call. Yeah. I mean, I'm hearing from people that I haven't talked to and when I was at this wedding, I was serving, all these people are coming up to me that I haven't seen in, in 20 years, 25 years.

Yeah. So, And that means a lot to both of us to Kim and I, so, yeah.

Dr Ahsan Basha (Host): Well, I do appreciate you coming in. I appreciate you. sharing your life with our listeners. and it's always so helpful to hear how you get through it so that other people can. Think through how they're gonna get through it or help their loved ones. Right. because we are trying to create community here.

So thank you again. The thank you for having you, doctor. Thank you very much. Yeah. Good, good. And so thank you again for listening to this podcast. the C word community neck cancer, And we look forward to sharing more stories in the future.